Applauding men that think with their "Head" and not their "head"

Taking a moment to applaud men,

 

Because… pussy doesn’t have a face, we automatically expect men to fuck anything moving, I don’t know, maybe because it has happened to me a few times so I just start to think that all men are the same. 

 

 

However, just recently I have learned that is not true.  I had an instance in where a woman was all up in my friend’s face and when I say in his face I mean, in his face.   When she wasn’t trying to put her butt in his face, she was basically crawling all over him.    It wasn’t his fault though; he didn’t know that she was desperate for a man. I guess a lot of women don’t know this but I am going to let the cat out of the bag…   Just because a man holds a conversation with you, it doesn’t always mean he wants you.   

 

Yet I sat there still wondering what he was going to do, looking at him out of the corner of my eyes to see how he would react.  He didn’t have a reaction, other than trying to be friendly, he did nothing.  No looking at her butt, (I guess that must be her best asset), no anything, it was as if what was happening, wasn’t happening. 

 

Immediately, he began to put me at ease cause as this nappy headed ho (Yes I said it!  She is!) was crossing the line, I thought about her body being outlined in chalk.  Instead I looked over, smiled at him and sat back and watched the tramp play herself.  She made herself look more desperate than anything.  I thought about pulling her to the side to ask if she had lost her damn mind, but as the saying goes…. you should never interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake. 

 

Most women play the cat game of getting someone else’s man to pay them attention.  It is a confidence booster for women with a low self esteem.  When it works they feel great about themselves but when it doesn’t, they end up losing a lot more than they thought.  So to the bitch that thought she was playing the game with me.  I won! 

 

Oh, but this isn’t just about that.  This is about me applauding men that think with their “Head” and not their “head.”   

 

Confession Fridays.............

Throughout the week I do and think random things that I don't mind sharing with the world.  Besides, I need to get some of these things off my chest. I am naturally secretive and of course my juicy secrets, I could never tell but I will share the safe ones.  Feel free to confess as well.  It may do you some good.

 

1. We are the same sign so it was lust from the very beginning.  Just as quickly as it started is how it will end. I am not looking forward to that day but I know that it is what it is.
   

2. I couldn't watch Little Miss Sunshine because you are just too damn sexy and yes I sprayed on as much of that spray that you like as possible,  so that you would smell it as soon as I entered the room.  I know how much you like it. 
   

3. Trying to stay on track with my diet for the dress that will look as if I was poured in, I ate one of my coworker's yogurt.
   

4. I can't fall for you. I just can't…..   Maybe it is the slow stroke that has got me trippin'. 
   

5. I wasn't ready for you to leave, dammit!  If only you could have stayed a little while longer.  I kept my cool but I was mad as hell.
   

6. Sometimes I think it should have been us together instead….
   

7. It will never work out between us….  Your titties are bigger than mine (hence the name titty man)
   

8. I want you to star in my movie..............
   

9. I have an addiction, I knew the first time I tried it, I would be addicted and now I am…..  This explains why I am up at 3am. I can't even stop thinking about doing it.  I try not to do it everyday at least twice a week.  I need to have it in my system before the week is over.
   

Get Live.... Focker

I have had the experience of having a great lover.   A partner that truly understands that there are two people having sex and took my feelings and wants into consideration.  I have a friend that recently told me that she doesn't like oral sex..  What the Fu... , is what I was thinking..  She said she has never been with a man that has done it right.  I am so sad for her!  Oral sex is such a beautiful thing especially when the partner knows what they are doing. Then we started talking about what I call doing the Elvis…  her friend said that he wanted to make her legs shake and she had no clue to what that meant.  She wanted to know if there was something in the store that she could buy to prepare herself for it, how precious!    Poor girl…. 

 

Either she has been with selfish lovers that only looked out for self or they just didn’t know what they were doing.  I have been with someone like that as well and it was the worst.  There is nothing worse than a selfish lover.  I am used to being with someone that wants to satisfy me just as bad as I want to satisfy them which makes the act of sex great,  but the selfish lover just wants to get off and doesn't really care or then again  maybe he just doesn't know what to do.   The partner I was with was adequate, it was sort of like Mista from the Color Purple when he would get on her and do his business, and well that is how I felt sometimes.  It just wasn’t always enjoyable but I liked him unfortunately.  At times I did wish I had one of those wrap it up boxes Dave Chapelle advertised on his show.  I would have put that box to some serious use....

 

 

A good male friend of mine said that women are not bad in bed, if a woman is bad in bed then it is the man’s fault and I agree with him. Women go along with the vibe of things.  I think men get caught up into watching how the porn stars have sex and try to do everything Mr. Marcus is doing but in 5 minutes or less.  That can be frustrating.   Women are not asking that you become porn stars, we want tantric sex.  There are books you can read or classes you can take.  On I Love New York, she had a tantric teacher come in on a date and that actually seemed like a fun date, well fun if you are into that person you are with.

 

 

I know that people know when they are bad in bed but then again we women pretend so  much… How would they know if we are oohing and aahing and not meaning any of it?  If we really like the guy we should just tell them what to do. I ask my lover what he likes and I also look at his facial expressions too.   Constructive sex criticism will only make you better in bed and shouldn’t everyone want to be the best focker ever…   I know I do.

 

 

 

Can I get fries to go with that shake?

I will admit it, I am a label whore.  I love designer jeans and purses.  Though, lately I have been putting labels on people and only talk to them if they are a certain label.  Girl, he is a doctor, talk to him, Girl he is about to go pro, you need to get with him.   I have hooked my friends up with men based on their careers, setting my friends up with men just because they are pro-athletes.  Our society is so bent on titles now, as lately people introduce themselves with their first name and a business card.  Is that supposed to be more impressive?  What about the person that you are?  Your title doesn't give you a reason to be an asshole and it shouldn’t define who you are. Besides, I have found that men use their titles as an extension for their penis. 

 

 

 I try to not to tell people what I do.  When I am off the clock, I am off the clock.  There is so much more to me than what I do for a living.   If I don’t impress you with my personality then go away.  I don’t want to always feel I am on an interview, when it is just a conversation at the bar or club.   

 

 Not to mention the most over used label “They come from a good home.” What does that even mean?  What exactly is a “Good” home?  There we are labeling people again.  Are these people different from a person that comes from a broken home?  Or how about a single parent home?  My parents are not together and it didn’t affect me.  I didn’t have to take counseling for it, I don’t hate men.  My parents get along great and that is what is most important.   A lot of serial killers come from “good” and “bad” homes.  Maybe the ones that come from “good” homes murder people different from the ones the come from “bad” homes.

 

 

In the future, when people meet me and they ask what I do for a living within the first 5 minutes of my conversation, I will say the exact same thing the fat white boy that worked at McDowell’s said “Now I am washing lettuce, pretty soon I will be on shakes.”  I will at least give people 5 minutes of conversation without asking what they do.  I am just going to take time and enjoy the conversation. Unless they are a complete idiot and then I have to go. 

 

 

I think I want a purple one

So my knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.   I have decided that I need to get a breather in between men.  As soon I go out too soon I only think about the guy I used to go out with. 

 

 

I recently went out with a guy that got on my last nerve.  May be he thought I was desperate or something, he said everything he thought I wanted to hear.  Like Oh I love you, after knowing me for a day, you love me????  Yeah right!   Not to mention the beautiful family he kept saying we would have and he was like oh you are so pretty this, you are so pretty that.  I bet your morning breath even smells good.  What the Hell!?!  So since I know that isn’t true I blew my breath in his face. That will teach him!   I mean who wants to hear Hallmark greetings all damn day??? 

 

 

So while he is reciting poems all damn day in his best Kyle Barker voice, I am thinking about my old flame.  Time spent with my old flame was totally different, though he liked me he never said oh baby your farts smell like roses.  As a matter of fact, we would say hey don’t put your face under the cover.  When I go in the bathroom instead of him saying oh your shit smells like roses he lights incense.  I can appreciate that.  See…… he would never say my morning breath smells good.  He knew when to be lovey dovey and when not to be.    

 

 

So….. back to the rebound guy.  No matter how hard I tried not to think about my old flame I couldn’t help it.  No matter what the new guy did, in my head I am like No no no.  He would never do that, he would never say that.  Why can’t you just be more like him?  Now the rebound guy is all upset because I have an attitude and he doesn’t know why.  Poor thang it is not even his fault.  It is me that is still thinking about old flame.

 

 

I know the saying the best way to get over an old love is to get under a new love but that just doesn’t work for me.  I need alone time right after, which is how I get over an old love. So……… I plan on investing in a good vibrator for those in between times.  I am not going to jump into the arms of another man to get over the old man.  I will just have to find something to do in the mean time, I have a lot of hobbies I can work on and on those lonely days I will pull out the trusty vibrator. I heard the rabbit or the dolphin was good and they have pretty colors.    No more calling up boy toys for the night.   I am too damn old to still have meaningless sex and my body is worth more than that.  I am so much more than that. 

 

 

I am not stuck on the old guy I just know that in order for me to give the next guy a fair shot I need to take some healing time.  I never want to be the “Bag Lady” that Erykah Badu sings about or have that Icebox for a heart.  Every relationship needs to start fresh without thinking about the old love. 

 

Maya's Sports Report

Can I just say I am so proud of the Wizards this year. They are kicking ass for real. Yay! Dwayne I knew you could do it baby. I love the Houston Rockets, hate TMac for reasons I do not wish to talk about. I am having a tug of war so I don’t know if I am sad the Nuggets loss or happy the Spurs won. I love, love, love, love the Spurs because of Tim Duncan but you know how I feel about the Nuggets because of my baby Melo, that is. The Mavs of course I knew you could do it. This is another favorite of mine. They have so much potential to be the champs but something is off I am just not sure what that is. I think they have a stronger defense and need a little more with the offense. Congrats… Bobcats, though I don't really care about them.


Melo may not be nominated because of his actions. I still feel that Stern was too hard on him, 3 games would have been sufficient but now he may lose his chance at being an all-star player when he was the highest scorer in the league. That is just not right or fair to him. He was only giving this tough suspension because he is Melo. That really sucks. I am sad about that. I was wrong, I thought he would have only lost his pay but he may have lost his chance at All-Star this year.


Chris Webber...... It is time for you to hang up your shoes. Take the buy out and go sit down you have not been performing well at all. I think it is a rap. You are overpaid and you don't produce. You should have stayed with Tyra Banks.

9:30 on 1/7/07

The best part of a relationship is being comfortable with that person.The worst part is when it all ends